7ms Transcript: Episode 58 - Me, Cameron Crowe and the Myth of Elizabethtown

7 Minute Stories by Aaron Calafato

Episode 55 - Me, Cameron Crowe and the Myth of Elizabethtown

CORI INTRO

You're listening to seven minute stories with Aaron Calafato , this episode: Me, Cameron Crowe and the Myth of Elizabethtown

 AARON CALAFATO - STORY

You're listening to seven minute stories with Aaron Calafato. This episode me Cameron Crowe and the myth of ElizabethTown.

When it comes to. My career. Or..as an artist in this profession, you always need something to guide your choices. And I've always looked for moments. And so when I graduated college in 2005 , I already started looking for those moments. And right after graduation going into the summer I knew I wanted to go to New York and become an actor. But I had a whole summer in front of me and I got this phone call from a buddy of mine that I went to school with. And we were in the same, the same dorm right across the hall from each other.

And he gives me a call and he says "Hey Cameron Crowe is doing a new movie it's called ElizabethTown and they're holding auditions for it in Louisville Kentucky". And my buddy lived in Cincinnati. So for him was just a couple hours away, I was in Cleveland. But he was like "you should go. This could be a big opportunity for you!" And when we hung up the phone I thought there it is. There's my moment. And so I took it. I got in my little Honda Civic that was barely functioning, but it didn't matter, because I had something to push towards.

Nothing was going to stop me. I was so determined. See, when I decide I want to do something, you ask anybody that knows me, when I decide I it's just something clicks in and I just do it. Didn't matter the condition of the car. I got in that car and I drove. And just like any Odyssey, there's always obstacles before you get to your destination. And right away as I'm driving from Cleveland getting outside of Cleveland getting into the country heading towards Columbus..south. All the sudden the worst storm in the world shows up.

I mean clouds like you've never seen before. Rain.. the raindrops as thick as baseballs you couldn't see the windshield wipers going back and forth and back and forth. Cars spinning off in the road. And all I was doing was following a truck with its the rear lights sort of as like a little red guide that took me through these treacherous roads. And what's crazy, is I never thought of stopping. Never thought of pulling over. Never thought that maybe I should turn around. Maybe I should just wait. That's craziness. But it didn't even occur to me.

I just pushed through that storm. As hard as I could. And I finally made it through Columbus into Cincinnati and all the way into Kentucky. And right when I got into Louisville I started actually getting a little worried because I realize I only have three fourths of a tank of gas. I had no more money except for 13 dollars to my name. And at this point, I was like, I didn't even know how I was going to get home. But in my mind, it didn't really matter because I had arrived. I was in Louisville and I was about to audition for a Cameron Crowe movie.

Here's this guy Cameron Crowe. Right? Jerry Maguire. Almost Famous. I mean his version of Vanilla Sky blew my mind. And this could be me. I could be acting in one of his movies if I was able to audition and do an amazing monologue. So I show up to Louisville and right away I started seeing how hard this was going to be, because I forgot that I had to park outside of where the audition was. The audition was in a hotel. And so I had to do hotel parking, which was exactly thirteen dollars, which took me to nothing, which meant I had to get home maybe on fumes.. But see in my head I saw that as a sign!

It was exactly thirteen dollars not thirteen fifty, not thirteen twenty five, it was thirteen. So I gladly handed over my last thirteen dollars and parked my car, ran across the street, went to the hotel, met my friend, shook his hand, gave him a hug, we were like "here we are, we're gonna do it!". I had my headshot, I had my resumé and I was looking forward to going in and auditioning... But before I could do that I had to stand in lin. Now, when I described to you that I had to stand in line when you get into the lobby of the hotel. I saw right away there was this long line heading towards the stairwell. And that line wasn't heading towards where the auditions were that was heading just towards the first floor. And as I started scoping out the situation and talking with my friend and we started overhearing people talk.

It was like telephone. Messages were coming down from this great unknown all the way back to us and we heard that the line went up maybe five to six floors and that people were waiting there already for hours, but nothing was going to stop me. Nothing. Even when I got to the second floor and it had been three and a half hours, nothing would turn me around. Even when the electricity went off because of the heat and the storm that had moved from Ohio where I was driving and met me in Louisville, I wouldn't leave. Even when we saw reports, and heard that there was tornado activity right outside of Louisville, and people started streaming out of the hotel in fear, nothing would stop me. I stayed there. Even when the air conditioning went off, and I was sweating through my T-shirt, people were having a hard time breathing, people with asthma problems couldn't breathe, they're leaving, nothing would stop me. And even when I made it to the sixth floor after being there for nearly six and a half hours I realized...this is how you make it in this industry. And as I stood in that sixth floor, I thought about all I had gone through to get here. And then I thought about all everyone else had gone through to get to the same situation. And what made me different? And I thought. "Well, I'm unique. I know how to take advantage of a moment when it presents itself". And there it was right in front of me, 4 people, then 3, then two, then one, then I was standing at the table and there was a lady behind the table with a Cameron Crowe t-shirt. And she said "thank you so much for coming". And I said, "Hey My name is Aaron Calafato and I'm an actor. Here's my headshot and resume." And just as I was about to rev up for a monologue she said "thank you so much. Have a good evening!". And I said "but wait a second, what about my audition." She said "that was it...." (Aaron) "So what are you talking about?" She goes "Yeah this is a cattle call for extras for the Cameron Crowe film ElizabethTown. All the main actors have already been cast months ago. This is just to draw from locals from Kentucky in Ohio to fill in background. We appreciate you being here. But can you get out of line. You're holding up the line.."

And as I turned around I didn't want to show her how red my face was. How naive and stupid I felt. Tail tucked between my legs, and said goodbye to my friend, and I was angry. Walk down the stairwell the hotel I was angry. Went out to the parking garage, I was angry that I gave away my last thirteen dollars didn't even know how I was gonna get home, but I got in my car and I drove and I hoped and I thought was that my moment did I miss it?

And I realized "no that was a moment". It was a revealing moment that, that was one little step in a very very difficult journey. If I chose to take it. And I really believed at that time, as I do now, that if you push forward with every one of those moments..that it can lead to a journey and that journey could lead to an odyssey in the odyssey might lead to a myth. And that's what I've been trying to do for the last 13 years, to this very day, to this very sentence that I'm speaking right now. Maybe one day the story could be mythical.

At least that's the story that I'm trying to tell.....

CORI OUTRO

I hope you enjoyed the episode. A lot of people have been coming up to Aaron and I at parties sending emails and calling to tell us how much they loved the podcast and ask when the next episodes coming out. A great way to stay connected is to visit the Website 7minutestoriespod.com  - You can also subscribe on Apple podcasts. And while you're there. Let more people know what you think about Aaron and his storytelling by rating and leaving a review.

Lastly the biggest compliment you can give us is to share your favorite episode with friends on social media. Thanks again for listening!

7ms Transcript: Episode 57 - Special Guest: Bill Squire

7 Minute Stories by Aaron Calafato

Episode 57 - Special Guest: Bill Squire

INTRO

Hey Seven Minutes story listeners I'm gonna be breaking format shaking it up this week with another guest episode of seven minute stories. This week we feature Bill Squire. Bill is a nationally recognized comedian. He's also a co-host of the Alan Cox Show. It's a radio show on 100.7 WMMS, a very successful show. And ironically, Bill and I grew up together. We went to high school together ran in the same circle of friends. And so it's always great to catch up with him. He went into comedy, I went into storytelling, but I always value his viewpoints and super smart super funny guy.

So to give you context for this upcoming short segment. About a year ago Bill and I met and had an hour-long podcast conversation and we tackled a bunch of different subject. But we eventually got to this point where you're about to hear where we started talking about Kanya West. And when we recorded this this was the time where Kanye West had gone on sort of a rampage on TMZand different platforms and so we were talking about that environment, and then, we flowed into the subject of racism in America and how we were both, and still are both, just perplexed by how we're still dealing with this issue at such an intense visceral level in 2018 and 2019….

And then we move into some interesting points where Bill talks about how comedy can serve as a good place to tackle difficult subject matter like race and racism. So without further ado here's my conversation with Bill squire.

Interview

- Aaron Calafato

But we're at a point where I can't believe it still even exists but it does and it's crazy how full force it is like

- Bill Squire

And how it kind of like it was quiet it was dormant for a while.

- Aaron Calafato

Oh yeah

- Bill Squire

I was there. It's always there but it wasn't being talked about openly that is now. Like there is like the fact that there's guys out there doing tours about Milo or, you know, the Richard Spencer guy talking about white supremacy like it's like how? how is this a thing

- Aaron Calafato

How is it a thing?

- Bill Squire

Yeah

- Aaron Calafato

And how is there that big of an audience.

- Bill Squire

Right?

- Aaron Calafato

But this is a question out of ignorance. Does comedy do something right? When I see comedians talking or even doing documentaries, there almost is an understanding that, look we are not past this, but like we can communicate in a way in which we can be... can actually communicate about it. We can talk about race. We can do this in a way where we can...

- Bill Squire

Because you can make it light..

- Aaron Calafato

Right!

- Bill Squire

Uh Dave Chappelle and his new special talked about how he's more a comedian than he is a black person...Like he, he has a bit about that. How comedy supersedes that..

- Aaron Calafato

Yeah

- Bill Squire

his blackness.

- Bill Squire

And I think that's what you get from the best comedians a guy like Dave Chappelle and a guy like Bill Burr, that are so skilled and so great at observing society and its hypocrisies.

- Aaron Calafato

Yeah

- Bill Squire

and they can turn it on its ear and make it into something that we laugh at. I mean, it's.. it's that's where the art of it comes in

- Aaron Calafato

Right.

- Bill Squire

And I think comedy is a great tool to discuss things that people are uncomfortable with. That's why I'm drawn to the comics and I try to, do what I do where I can go and to talk about things onstage that are gonna make people uncomfortable. But it's my job as the comedian to make it palatable for most people, I know not everyone's gonna get it, but it's I'd rather.... There's always some people that don't like it no matter what. So I don't worry about those people. So you watch guys like Dave Chappelle who he can talk about race and he can do it in a way that is poignant and funny and actually can, I think, open people's mind to something that they haven't seen before. Because he's got such a powerful tool, that powerful just.. delivery system because he's so good at what he does..

- Aaron Calafato

Almost feel like, it feels like comedy is that is a necessary and necessary art form or platform to discuss it as you can do one of these podcasts, I was going to say Charlie Rose, but can't talk about that anymore. But I was saying and Charlie Rose esq flow. And I think there is a place to really have meaningful not you know not based...

- Bill Squire

when you get one on one...

- Aaron Calafato

Yeah. That's real right? That's good.

- Bill Squire

That's that's great. And...

- Aaron Calafato

But comedy is beautiful too, in the sense like you said, it elevates and it almost frames it in a way, under the guise of OK we're here for a comedy show.....You can learn something.

- Bill Squire

Yeah.

- Aaron Calafato

And you can, My... my introduction, honestly, to a lot of other cultures or identities or ethnicities with comedian.

- Bill Squire

Yeah. And that's it's a beautiful thing because especially with all the netflix specials that are being produced, and comedy specials that are being produced, and the diversity that..think Comedy Central has embraced. People you know just be like "oh just another comic. You know they're just trying to fill a quota..." I'm like "no, they're trying to give these guys a platform to to open the world up a bit." You know, you got a guy like Trevor Noah. His story is amazing.

- Aaron Calafato

Yeah.

- Bill Squire

You've got Ronnie Chang who is from China and now he's here. Kumail Nanjiani , like these these people have amazing stories and it opens my eyes to what the rest of the world thinks of us and what we get to experience. And it's really really interesting, really cool thing to do. And you have someone like Kanye, who saying all the dumb shit that he says, you could take all those things that he said. All that nonsense. Give it to Dave Chappelle and Dave Chappelle can present that stuff and you'll be like "Oh! the way Dave said it it made sense to me."

- Aaron Calafato

Right.

- Bill Squire

But Kanye isn't as gifted as Dave.

- Aaron Calafato

Well you have to be.

- Bill Squire

Yes he is. He has takes it too serious.

- Aaron Calafato

Yeah.

- Bill Squire

So when he's saying things and he's trying to say like "I have free thought and I want to have like new ideas".. Yeah, you're fine. But you have to understand that your new ideas aren't really that new, for one, and two your presentation is garbage right now.

- Aaron Calafato

Yes. The TMZ is probably not the platform...

- Bill Squire

right

- Aaron Calafato

For social discourse. I mean. Put out an album for Christ sake! put out...

- Bill Squire

And and and TMZ, like also, to go in there and rant about getting hooked on opioids because you got liposuction... And then end it with oh slavery was a choice like.....

- Aaron Calafato

Who is his PR guy?

- Bill Squire

Who ordered your set list? Like this is shit you work out at an open mike and then work out the kinks and then come... you don't you don't start

- Aaron Calafato

He premiered that opening night! It's not even a soft open...

- Bill Squire

You know you don't riff an entire comedy special and be like oh I guess I should have done that more than once..... Like it's just bananas..

CORI OUTRO

I hope you enjoyed the episode. A lot of people have been coming up to Aaron and I at parties sending emails and calling to tell us how much they loved the podcast and ask when the next episodes coming out. A great way to stay connected is to visit the Website 7minutestoriespod.com  - You can also subscribe on Apple podcasts. And while you're there. Let more people know what you think about Aaron and his storytelling by rating and leaving a review.

Lastly the biggest compliment you can give us is to share your favorite episode with friends on social media. Thanks again for listening!

7ms Transcript: Episode 55 - Sunday Sauce

7 Minute Stories by Aaron Calafato

Episode 55 - Sunday Sauce

CORI INTRO

You're listening to seven minute stories with Aaron Calafato , this episode: Sunday Sauce

 AARON CALAFATO - STORY

If you're from an Italian American family or you're married to someone who's Italian American. Or related or somehow connected. You know what I'm talking about. It's this Sunday experience where there's a big pot of boiling wonderful, incredibly.. just succulent sauce that goes on top of a pasta of your choice. But a grandma makes it, or an aunt makes it or sometimes an uncle, but you gather at someone's house and the constant thing is this sauce that's boiling throughout the day and everybody.. family, friends gather around it from morning until night. And it's like the nucleus that connects everybody together. And people love each other around it, and hate each other around it, and fight each other around it, and kiss each other around it, and scream at each other around it. All of humanity and the life seems to center around that, and this Italian American tradition.

Now every Sunday source that I know of starts at the same base. The same ingredients.

Oil, olive oil usually. And then after you heat the olive oil up you add garlic slices to however many want. If you like the garlic he saw some people don't like a lot of garlic but you got to add some garlic to it. And then you add the garlic to the heated oil and then you heat the garlic not till it's burnt but just till it starts cooking a little bit and it becomes an aromatic and you can smell it...

You can actually sense it in your nose and then that's when you add you crush tomatoes. Now, even before then with the garlic, some people add onions or some people add shallots or something like that. And then when you add your crushed tomatoes, you bring it to a high heat and you boil it. Now at that point it's usually similar with everybody, but then people add different stuff. Different people from different parts of, obviously Italian and & Sicily. But in America that I know.. different families at different things. Some people add wine, some people add cheese, some people add meat.

And when you cook a meat that's a whole different thing. So you got to start the meat, some people cook it before the sauce and and add sauce to it. Sometimes you cook the meat completely separate then add it later. Some people braise the meat and then add the sauce and cook it all in a one pot meal.. no matter what you do. The essence of a Sunday sauce and what it does for your family and what it does for that day as being the centerpiece, no matter whatever else going around it, it's that's the one constant that's sitting there.

But the one thing that you have to do with a great sauce, and I can tell you this because my family's is the best, is that you cook it for a very long time. No matter how many flakes of oregano or parsley or Basil or however many different types of cheeses you put in there that type of wine that you use. The key thing that you have to do throughout the day is you cook it, after that first initial boil, you simmer that thing. And you simmer and you stir it.

You stir it. You remember that in Goodfellas ? The scene? Where Henry has a keeps telling his nephew. You gotta stir the sauce, stir the sauce or it's going to burn on the bottom. You always have to stir it, not all the time, but just so it doesn't burn. But you cook it for most of the day and a transformation happens. A transformation happens in the sauce from beginning to end and it tastes completely different where all the new ingredients and the old ingredients come together and time is infused in there.

And the other thing that's added to it, is the way the person's feeling when they're cooking. I mean that, because they don't use measurements, anybody that cooks a real sauce doesn't use measurements you.

You just throw a pincher or a or a dash or this or that so you don't ever use measurements, you just do it with how you're feeling and that changes.

And so the essence is always the same but the taste is slightly different depending on the experience...

That's how it's always been too I think with my life. And I think that's what it's like for identity too. Creating and improvising until we find the right combination. I mean for a lot of my life I only identified with my Italian and Sicilian heritage. Why? I mean even though it's the biggest chunk, I think 30 percent. what about the other 70 percent of the fractured parts of my ethnic identity? The Irish the English, the Welsh, the Scotch Irish, the German.

What about the other part of my American experience? I do know that a lot of my relatives, in America, are from Indiana. And I found this out a number of years ago. But to be honest when I did find that out I didn't really talk about it openly.

I don't know why. There's nothing wrong with Indiana, but in my mind when I was trying to figure out what my ingredients were, I was like I think it'd be cool to be Italian.... and it wouldn't be a lie.

Because it is who I am. It is who I am.

But I kind of left out the fact that I also come from farmers and a farm family in the Midwest. People who grew things in the ground. Maybe didn't have a ton of culture or worldly culture. Maybe didn't have the most romantic history. Stories and romanticism and love and passion... You know what I mean? See that even comes out of me. You know what I mean? But when I was driving there a few years ago and I was performing at a university think it was Purdue. And I was driving through Indiana and I really thought about it and I was thinking what the fuck is wrong with you Aaron ? Why don't you talk more about

that part of your family. Or why did you invested? Why aren't you interested in that? Why doesn't that become part of your mix? Why don't you acknowledge it? And so when I perform that night, I got in front of the audience and the first thing I did was basically tell them this story and I'd stood in front of them and I said: "You know: I'm this and my last name is Calafato and I got that...But let me tell you about a part of me that I'd never really talked about and that's about being from middle America.

Being from a farm family. And and also being proud of that work ethic that comes from there. I'm talking about the very specific essence of the people. That live from farm the farm to farm. And the kind of work that they do out there."

And then I find that same sort of pattern in my own life. The stability that I seek. The dependency, like they had on the land, that I have on the region where I live now and in Cleveland and in the Rust Belt. The kind of work ethic that I try to put into every single one of these fucking episodes. Every single one of my performances. Every single one of my stories. Always planting seeds always tilling the ground.

And I know they do that in America and I know they do that in Italy too. But I guess it's all just a part of me.........

CORI OUTRO

I hope you enjoyed the episode. A lot of people have been coming up to Aaron and I at parties sending emails and calling to tell us how much they loved the podcast and ask when the next episodes coming out. A great way to stay connected is to visit the Website 7minutestoriespod.com  - You can also subscribe on Apple podcasts. And while you're there. Let more people know what you think about Aaron and his storytelling by rating and leaving a review.

Lastly the biggest compliment you can give us is to share your favorite episode with friends on social media. Thanks again for listening!

7ms Transcript: Episode 53 - My way on the highway

7 Minute Stories by Aaron Calafato

Episode 53 - My way on the highway

CORI INTRO

You're listening to seven minute stories with Aaron Calafato , this episode: My way on the highway

 AARON CALAFATO - STORY

You're listening to 7 Minute Stories with Aaron Calafato. This episode: My way on the highway.

So I was going to start this story with me aggressively driving my car into the front parking lot of a Dunkin Donuts and then running inside to scream at the two employees.

But I figured let's give some context to what brought me to this moment. And let's go back in time 15 minutes to see how we got here.

I was driving along the highway. I was so happy. I knew I wanted a cup of coffee. So I was on my way there. But in the meantime, I was just listening to music chillin out. In fact, I was listening to Eric Clapton's Layla.. a more contemporary version. You know what I'm saying: "Layla...Bom bom got me on my knees Layla" that one. And I thought, I'm cross generational. I really am. I mean I can listen to jazz I can listen to hip hop I can listen to heavy metal, punk rock,ambient soundtrack music. I can listen to American standards. I'm all over the place and I've been like that with music.

But to me that speaks to a larger goal of mine, which is to not be just be stuck in my generation or my thought process as I get older. I never wanted to be that guy. And one of the reasons why I never wanted to be that guy was a story that my father told me about he and his dad. Ironically they're driving in the car. It's the early 1970s about 1971 , 72. My dad's a teenager. I think he's like 17 at the time and he's in the front seat. My grandfather is driving and my grandfather, who I admire, you've heard a lot of stories about him.. loved American standards. Loved crooners and Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra.

I love those guys too. My grandfather would jam on that in the car and I think he was listening to, in this story, was listening to Frank Sinatra's version of "My Way". And he's singing. And as the song ends, my dad turns to his father and says; "Hey can I change the channel?" My grandfather obliges. And my dad turns the channel to this rock song by Derek And The Dominos featuring Eric Clapton and it's the earlier version of Layla.

But the rock and roll version you know the one that (mouthed guitar sound)  I know I have perfect pitch. But you know the guitar riff, it's legendary. And my dad's jammin and he looks over to his father for approval and my grandfather says these words: "That's not music, that's crap!". And what he does is essentially builds up a generational wall between he and his son. And so I never wanted to be like that. And so as I'm in my car driving to this Dunkin Donuts, I take pride in the fact that I'm essentially making a wrong right.

I'm living out a dream that maybe my father would have loved to see. Someone of any age, listening to music that he digs, without judgment. But maybe the way I approached things, maybe my belief that I wasn't stuck into a generation, was about to change. So I pull into the Dunkin Donuts and I order my usual I said "Can I please have a medium cup hot coffee with two creams and two sugars" LADY SAYS "PULL AROUND". Sounds a little angry but that's OK. I pull around to the front window the girl 17 to 18 years old.

She looks at me. She kind of looks through me. She's annoyed by me. I never say anything to her. I've never met her before but she's kind of acting that way. So I give her my card. She takes the card. She swipes the card. She gives her the card back. It's a 1.80 off my card. She hands me a cup of coffee. The cup of coffee,when I open it and take a drink, is lukewarm. In fact, it's not just lukewarm. It's the kind of cold that is almost purposeful. The kind of cold that has been sitting there for eight hours and someone forgot to turn on the burner and it's just like sludge with coffee grounds. And I said you know I'm not going to drive away. I'm not going to do this. So, I knock on the window, nicely, and she comes back and I say: "excuse me you gave me a cold cup of coffee, this is really bad. Do you just mind if I have a hot cup. Maybe you could put it in the microwave?" And then she rolls her eyes and says "If I do that that means I have to make you a whole new cup of decaf, which means I have to brew a whole new pot sir." And I said "OK well then do that". And she says "FINE". And she slams the window. I lose my mind. I don't sit there in the drive through anymore. I pull around violently to the front parking lot.

..Now we're back at the beginning of the story which I started ....and I jump out of my car and I run into the Dunkin Donuts. There's no one (customers) there and I'm power walking with a generation of anger behind me. And I say "Excuse me!" I see the girl. I see another girl. Their eyes are wide open because I'm holding them accountable and they're not used to this. I say "excuse me. What seems to be the problem?" She goes "sir, I told you I'd make you another cup!".  I said "No you didn't.

You acted as if it was my fault that you gave me a cup of garbage, and then made me feel bad by asking for what I paid for." And then here it came. I said That's not good service. That's not good service at all. That's crap" It echoed into the universe.

I have become my grandfather. And then I said "I want a refund, right now. I don't even want a cup of coffee." And she goes "I can't give you a refund." I said "why?" She says "my manager's not here." I said, "well then call her!" She goes "I can't give out her personal cell phone and she's not available right now." She said "you're gonna have to come tomorrow or Monday morning." I said "You tell me I have to come tomorrow morning to get a refund.

I have to drive back. You're not going to give me my money back?' She goes "there's nothing I can do about it sir!"

And so, my head nearly exploded and I stormed out of the Dunkin Donuts ,and in fact, by doing that what happened was I allowed myself to be robbed by a 17 year old girl at Dunkin Donuts.... She gave me a coffee, which was bad, I gave it back to her. She then, took my money wouldn't give it back and told me to come back tomorrow. That's the life I'm living...

And I jump in my car and I'm fuming but I'm thinking to myself "Is this me?" Have I become this old man this old man better driving around yelling at people because I didn't get the senior discount on my coffee.

Have I become that generational divide? and then I realize... No dude, you're cool. You listen Eric Clapton!  You got the best parts of your grandfather and your dad and you're making an effort. The difference is, you didn't account for one thing that also crosses the generations. Whether it's the early times of the Mesopotamia or Civil War era or the boom of Wall Street in the 80s. Doesn't matter what time, place, space or edifice you're in or belong to.. Whatever. Country. State. City.

It doesn't matter. One thing that transcends the generations are assholes! Assholes are with us all the time, and you just gotta figure out a way to avoid them, live with them or get past them. And I felt confident when I came to that realization.

So confident that I turned on oldies radio and you know what came on? it was the Frank Sinatra version of "My Way". I think the writers were Claude Francois and Paul Anka.. but you know this song "My Way" when Frank Sinatra sings it. And here are the lyrics I want to leave you with that I was listening to as I puff my chest out.....

"For what is a man? What has he got? If not himself. Then he has naught. To say the things, he truly feels, and not the words of one who kneels.

The record shows I took the blows and did it MY WAY....

CORI OUTRO

I hope you enjoyed the episode. A lot of people have been coming up to Aaron and I at parties sending emails and calling to tell us how much they loved the podcast and ask when the next episodes coming out. A great way to stay connected is to visit the Website 7minutestoriespod.com  - You can also subscribe on Apple podcasts. And while you're there. Let more people know what you think about Aaron and his storytelling by rating and leaving a review.

Lastly the biggest compliment you can give us is to share your favorite episode with friends on social media. Thanks again for listening!

7ms Transcript: Episode 51 - Barnes & Noble: A Love Story

7 Minute Stories by Aaron Calafato

Episode 51 - Barnes & Noble: A Love Story

CORI INTRO

You're listening to seven minute stories with Aaron Calafato , this episode: Jump on the roof!

 AARON CALAFATO - STORY

Why is it that the spaces we spend time in means so much to us?.

And why are they so prevalent in our minds? There is a deep association between the place where in and the occasion, or the relationship and their symbiotic to a certain degree. And I think I found at least part of an answer that makes sense to me. And I want to tell you that at the end of the story. But first, I want to tell you about how I ended up in this Barnes and Noble to begin with. First of all my hipster friends, I know there's bookstores out there where you can go there that are local shops and I've been to them and there's some really nice ones but, in mass, when you're traveling around a large geographical area it's not as easy to get to some of those and at least where I lived and where Cori and I were meeting when we first started dating, we had to find places of convenience because we had limited time with each other. And we wanted to spend, and I can just say for me, I wanted to spend a ton of time with her.

I wanted to spend every hour with her but I couldn't really tell her that because I had to play it cool. I was trying to, you know, follow these social norms and say you know Yeah I'll call you in a couple of days, but inside,  I was... yearning for the lack of a better word. To just see her and be with her because once it's a right match. And once I felt that. I just wanted to pick her brain and hear her ideas and just being around her made me feel right... So we both had to be patient.

When we first started dating and we had kids we didn't want to rush our kids into this relationship and force them to meet each other, so we took our time. And we were always looking for places where we could spend a lot of time and talk. And restaurants are cool but they're trying to turn tables so you can't spend all the time in the world there. And movies are nice when you want to see a movie but not a lot of room for conversation. So one night we're driving along this road and we're just looking for something to do and we both looked up and we're almost blinded by the neon white lights of the Barnes and Noble store that we were passing and we both knew it...

We had to go inside. So I pulled the car in the parking lot and it was almost like it was fate. We didn't even say anything. I just opened the door and we held hands and we walked inside ....And our senses were assaulted in the best possible way. There is a unique smell and a sound to a Barnes and Noble. There's the smell of the coffee coming from the coffee shop mixing with the smell of the new books. People leafing through pages shuffling in and out between the bookshelves. People going up and down the escalator. And the escalator almost serves as a conductor going click clack clack clack back and forth almost like a soft subway directing the ambiance of the entire establishment.

And then you hear conversations. People are having great talks and laughing but in a modest and thoughtful way, I mean, don't get me wrong I love the library. But in a library you gotta read.  You're doing research you got to be in it. Otherwise, people come up as say shhhh,  and I've been one of those people to say shhhsss,  but nobody in the barn and Barnes and Noble is going to come up to you and say shhhssss!  because it's a Barnes Noble. If they do that you just say: "Hey got a proble?" and they go "maybe!" and you go "Okay let's go outside...".

So that just doesn't happen there. So it was a perfect environment for us. And Cori and I just go to every section that we can of this Barnes and Noble and just start reading and talking about different books that we love. Different books that we've read. Books that we want to read and we haven't read and then kind of going oh my gosh you haven't read that!. And then we start reading passages back and forth. It was like, it was like an exchange of ideas, a call and response, where I would find a book and a section that really compelled me and meant something to me and I would share it with her and read it to her and see how it landed.

And just watching her. And seeing how she reacted to that was so beautiful. And she would do the same thing she would read me things from books that she loved and found meaning in and I learned so much about her because of that.

And we did this for hours and then we made our way through the Romance Section.... with the romance novels and I mean this in the best possible way because we, we would laugh and joke. I would open up a romance novel and in a really corny voice sort of narrate where it's like. And "then Rusty the cowboy walks upstairs and he's looking for his long lost love and the door is locked and he takes a hammer and he smashes it and he says: baby you gotta be mine" or something ridiculous and we're just cracking up at this and just being the stupidest silliest people in the entire store.

And then things get a little bit more serious because we go to the poetry section. Then I start pulling out the romance card, not in the weird intentional way, but really I start reading some of my favorite poets and she's reading some of hers and I'm finding different sections and poetry that not only speak to me, but speak to me in a way that reflect how I feel for her in that very moment. And I just start reading her this poetry, not ridiculously or loud, but just intimately to her and I don't care. There are people passing by and kind of looking and going what's going on.

Doesn't matter, because it's all fog around her. And it's just me and her. Delivering poetry to one another.  It felt like we were doing something right. And as we walked out that evening we both looked up at the white neon sign and she said something to me that just took me aback. She said "you know I didn't want to tell you this before we walked in. But right when we started dating I had a dream that if we were meant to be together that we would end up at this Barnes and Noble". I said "Are you serious?" She goes yes "and then so when we drove by and you said let's go inside. It was like my heart melted." I was like "I had no idea.

I'm so glad that I like lived up to the dream version of me."

And she was happy and we were both like completely blown out of our minds because here we were in this almost storybook moment in front of a bookstore and it just reminds me of what I was going to tell you at the beginning of this story. Which is, the reason why we care so much about this place, at this Barnes Noble, or you care about the place that that you care about with the ones you love has nothing to do really with the place. The place is just a facade. It's just a structur. It's just an edifice. It has inanimate objects inside. It's what you make of that place. And in fact the exchange and the connection you have with the human being inside of that place is uniquely yours and no one else's......

And that is beautiful because it belongs to you. And so, every once in a while, as the years have passed Cori and I always go back and have date nights where we return back to that Barnes and Noble because it's where we're supposed to be. And when we walk through the doors we know every single time, we're in fact, turning another page in the story of our lives together.

CORI OUTRO

I hope you enjoyed the episode. A lot of people have been coming up to Aaron and I at parties sending emails and calling to tell us how much they loved the podcast and ask when the next episodes coming out. A great way to stay connected is to visit the Website 7minutestoriespod.com  - You can also subscribe on Apple podcasts. And while you're there. Let more people know what you think about Aaron and his storytelling by rating and leaving a review.

Lastly the biggest compliment you can give us is to share your favorite episode with friends on social media. Thanks again for listening!

7ms Transcript: Episode 49 - Jump on the roof!

7 Minute Stories by Aaron Calafato

Episode 49 - Jump on the roof!

CORI INTRO

You're listening to seven minute stories with Aaron Calafato , this episode: Jump on the roof!

 AARON CALAFATO - STORY

It was my first day on the job site and I was scared because I didn't want to screw up.

You see, I had gotten this job through a family friend who knew a contractor. It was the summer of my 11th grade year and the deal was that this contractor was gonna drop me off five days a week during the summer to different roofing sites and construction sites and all I had to do was be a grunt. Be the lowest on the totem pole. I would carry scrap metal, wood, carry tools run errands take stuff to the dumpster do all the dirty work that no one wanted to do but that would help make the job easier for the workers.

The morning of my first job it was six thirty a.m. and the contractor drops me off I get out of the passenger side of the Ford pickup truck and here I am and this roofing site. And I knew it was gonna be a hot day because even at six thirty a.m. , The sun was just beating down and I stuck out like a sore thumb. I didn't have the right attire,I had nice jeans and actually like a button up short sleeved shirt and sneakers, I apparently didn't get the memo, but when I looked around I saw there is about four to eight guys milling around this house. Some half way up on ladders some on the roof some on the ground moving around tools none of them had shirts on they all had bandannas and they weren't exactly welcoming. I mean I knew I was a stranger they knew I didn't really belong there. And so I stood there like an idiot with no instructions and not knowing what to do.

But that's when Ernie introduced himself. Ernie stood on top of that roof like a Greek God. He was tall and strong and confident. Blue work jeans no shirt brown work shoes a trucker's cap, long stringy hair, he had crystal blue eyes and he had a smile that was really kind. He was missing the top four front teeth, so when he smiled his lip would go underneath his gum...and his skin the only way I can describe it is: like Hulk Hogan. So sun baked that it was like leather but when he looked down at me I knew that he was the one running this job site and he had one of the most interesting speech impediments I can just never forget. He at Aaaawween, you know what you're doing around here? I said No Ernie, I don't.

He said here's what you gonna do. You want to take them shingles you going to put them over your shoulder you want to carry em over to the whift and a wift is gonna take him up to the woof. And I said that it? and then the lifts gonna do the rest of the work? He said: "Yeah but you're going to be carrying them shingles over your shoulder it's gonna be a lot of time we gonna get to through those shingles like bread and butter. And so I did what Ernie said and he was cool he was kind for giving me direction and not make me look like an asshole and so I was grateful to him. And so I did what he said. I'm carrying these heavy shingles or putting them on the lift and they take him up to the roof and the guys are just hammering him in.

They're going through so quickly that I'm having a hard time keeping up but I think I do just fine, until the lift breaks. And I called up to Ernie I said: "maybe I should go home since the lift is broken" and Ernie told me that I couldn't. The boss said the job needed to be done by the end of the day and I had to manually climb up the roof with the shingles over my shoulder and I did that and I'm sweating sweating and feel like I'm on a pass out but I get to the top of the ladder and it's creaking and I'm really afraid of heights and I kind of body slammed these shingles on the top of the roof and Ernie can tell I was really scared and he looked at me and he goes "Aaawwen you scared of this woof? and I didn’t say anything.

He said “come on now and get up on this woof. Get up on the woof!” So I slowly... my knees are shaking. I kind of get up on the roof and it's not natural it's like a sharp incline. Ernie's standing on it like it's just every day. And I'm standing on it like I'm gonna fall to my death and he goes: "Aaawen you gotta own this Woof. Don't be afraid. Here's how you do it: Just gotta jump on the woof." I said what? He said "jump on the woof, jump on the woof." And Ernie starts jumping and Ernie literally starts jumping. It looked like two to three feet in the air. He had the agility of a panther. He's jumping up and landing on his feet and he tells me: "Aaawen jump jump on that woof", and my jump, I'm jumping up it's like 30 centimeters. He goes "Come on Aawen and jump on da Woof.

Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid Aawen jump on the woof." And he's kind of coaching me and I'm getting my confidence up and I'm starting to jump and I'm starting to jump.

Now I'm jumping and I'm like "Ernie, I'm jumping on the roof." He's like "Aawwen you're jumping on that woof. I'm like "I'm jumping Ernie. I'm jumping, I'm jumping on the roof! He says "AAAWEEN! jump on the roof!" and there is me and Ernie lunchtime is about to hit.

And here we are jumping up on top of this roof. And I have all the confidence in the world and that fear went away. I was so confident that he invited me to eat lunch with him in the middle of the roof. Apparently he didn't get enough sun. So there I am sitting with Ernie, we're having our lunch and he's got a T-shirt over his head I get a T-shirt of my head and we're just kind of sitting there with this vantage point over the neighborhood. The roof is almost done and we're just looking around and eating our sandwiches then Ernie turned to me and he said: "Aawen are you going to school?"

I said Yep. He said "You going to cowege? I said Yep. He said "Good. Don't be wike me" and then he told me that he wanted to be an architect when he was growing up. But his dad hit him, not just a little bit, but a lot. And he let that get the best of him. And so after several bad choices and a couple of stints in prison he decided to go into roofing because that was the closest he could get to becoming an architect...putting shingles on the roof.

And so the day ended, I said goodbye to my new friend and I went into a long weekend. I slept for what felt like 100 hours. That following Monday, on the way to the job site, I was asking the contractor when I should check in with Ernie. I was excited to see him. The contractor looked at me and he said "you've seen Ernie?" I said No not since last week. He goes, "well no one has seen Ernie since last week." He said "the last we heard Ernie stole a van from the construction site and stole a bunch of copper and metal and drove down to central Ohio where he pawed it for drug money.

And he checked himself into a cheap motel and put a needle in his arm. And we don't know if he's dead or alive."........ I never saw Ernie again but here's what I can tell you. There was kindness in that man. The other thing I can tell you, is that ever since that summer if you ask me to get up on a roof. That I'm not afraid anymore.

CORI OUTRO

I hope you enjoyed the episode. A lot of people have been coming up to Aaron and I at parties sending emails and calling to tell us how much they loved the podcast and ask when the next episodes coming out. A great way to stay connected is to visit the Website 7minutestoriespod.com  - You can also subscribe on Apple podcasts. And while you're there. Let more people know what you think about Aaron and his storytelling by rating and leaving a review.

Lastly the biggest compliment you can give us is to share your favorite episode with friends on social media. Thanks again for listening!

7ms Transcript: Episode 48 - Me, Paul Harvey and the Farmer

7 Minute Stories by Aaron Calafato

Episode 48 - Me, Paul Harvey and the Farmer

CORI INTRO

You're listening to seven minute stories with Aaron Calafato this episode: Me, Paul Harvey and the farmer.

 AARON CALAFATO - STORY

It's been a really tough couple of weeks in America, and I am one of the lucky ones and so are you if you're listening to this. And I don't know about you but I've been trying to figure out how to navigate this. You know? How to find direction in a world that seems very turbulent and very unclear. As a parent, how do you shield your kids and protect them and teach them at the same time. Every other word you hear is I can't believe we live in this world I can't believe it's come to this. Social media is a cesspool. The news cycle is a cesspool. And I mean that in the sense that these are not places to really find reflection.

These are not places to really have discourse and to communicate with people or to air your differences in comment threads. That's just not the space. And I've learned that the hard way, so, years ago I decided when it comes to real stuff, real reflection, I'm gonna get out of the cloud and I'm going to get into life. And I think about how our ancestors got through some of the most turbulent times, the most horrific times in human history. The thing that human beings have used, for all of human history, as an anchor to figure out a direction to overcome... is story. It's story. its myth. its fable. It's as simple and can be as simple as a nighttime story that you tell your child. Or in an Aesop fable that you learn growing up. And the reason why these things endure and that I know that that they're so important is that they're not held hostage by the contemporary moment...

They're not held hostage by a political persuasion or an issue or geography or a monarchy or a political system or an economic system. They.. Stories right? Myth. Fables... transcend all of that.

That's why a person in Germany and Japan and America and South America at all different times on Earth can hear one singular story and understand its moral truth. Understand the meaning of it. Get reflection from it. Because it's the human language. And so even in times like this for myself I'm like: you know what? I gotta to dive back into story to figure out a direction to get through this tough time. That's where I get my sustenance. And so the other day I got in the car and I decided I was going to turn on the AM radio to see if any sort of story, not news, you know... but just something would pop up and I put it on auto scan and I took a drive 20 minutes south into rural America into the countryside. And it always brings me calm, and the highway turned into you know a state road in the state road turned into a country road and the country road turned dirt road ....and I kept driving and driving out into the fields now ....and the wind is just orchestrating them, it's a summer's night it's beautiful, the sky is burnt orange... I open the windows and the wind comes in I take a breath and I look out.  And the fireflies are starting to come up and communicate with each other with light. And the rolling hills and the wind is orchestrating the trees... and out in the distance on one of these rolling hills I see a farmhouse, a white farmhouse, and I pull up respectably close on the dirt road and I pull over and put my hazards on.

I just look and I see these two farmers out on tractors and one guy has two horses and he's plowing the field, right in front of me, and I'm watching these guys and I look out at the at the white farmhouse and I see some of their families sitting on the swing and swinging back and forth watching them as they try to get work in before the day ends. And just at that moment on the AM radio a speech by the great Paul Harvey comes on called: So God Made a Farmer right at that moment... and so I'm looking out at this scene and this speech comes up and I'm going to recite it for you at the end of the seven minute stories and I'm not going to sound like Paul Harvey but maybe this speech will speak to you in the way that it spoke to me. That if we want to bear fruit in this beautiful society of ours we have to approach it with the grace, the humility, the strength and the compassion, and the hard work of a farmer….

RECITES PAUL HARVEY”S SPEECH

And on the eighth day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said I need a caretaker. So God made a farmer. God said I need somebody willing to get up before dawn. Milk cows work all day in the fields milk cows again eat supper and then go to town and stay past midnight at a meeting of the school board. So God made a farmer.

I need somebody was arms strong enough to rustle a calf. And yet gentle enough to deliver his own grandchild. Somebody to call hogs and tame cantankerous machinery come home hungry have to wait lunch until his wife is done feeding visiting ladies and then tell the ladies to be sure and come back real soon and mean it! So God Made a Farmer.

God said I need somebody willing to sit up all night with a newborn colt and watch it die, then dry his eyes and say: maybe next year. I need somebody who can shape an axe handle for a persimmon sprout. Shoe a horse with a hunk a car tire, who can make a harness out a Haywire, feed sacks and shoe scraps and who planting time and harvest season will finish his 40 hour week by Tuesday noon, then, painin from tractor back..put in another seventy two hours. So God Made a Farmer.

God had to have somebody willing to ride the ruts at double speed to get the hay and ahead of the rain clouds and yet stop in midfield and raced to help when he sees the first smoke from a neighbor’s place. So God Made a Farmer.

God said I need somebody strong enough to clear trees and heave bales yet gentle enough to tame lambs and wean pigs and tend the pink combed pellets who will stop his mower for an hour to splint the broken wing of a meadowlark. It had to be somebody who had plowed deep and straight and not cut corners. Somebody to seed, weed, feed, breed and rake and disc and plow and plant and tie the fleece and strain the milk and replenish the self-feeder and finish a hard week's work with a five mile drive to church. Somebody who'd bail a family together with the soft strong bonds of sharing. And who would laugh and then sigh.

And then reply with smiling eyes. When his son says he wants to spend his life doing what dad does.

So God made a farmer.

CORI OUTRO

I hope you enjoyed the episode. A lot of people have been coming up to Aaron and I at parties sending emails and calling to tell us how much they loved the podcast and ask when the next episodes coming out. A great way to stay connected is to visit the Web site seven minute Stories pod.com  - You can also subscribe on Apple podcasts. And while you're there. Let more people know what you think about Aaron and his storytelling by rating and leaving a review.

Lastly the biggest compliment you can give us is to share your favorite episode with friends on social media. Thanks again for listening!

7ms Transcript: Episode 47 - That's not my friend anymore

7 Minute Stories by Aaron Calafato

Episode 47 - That’s not my friend anymore

CORI INTRO

You're listening to seven minute stories with Aaron Calafato. This episode:  That's not my friend anymore.

 AARON CALAFATO - STORY

A colleague of mine had just passed away and he had been fighting for a really long time, like 20 something years and he finally his body gave way.

And he passed and I was at his funeral.

And the hardest part for me is always, first seeing the family and seeing the memories and seeing all the people that he or she affected, whenever I've gone, as I've gotten older and you know going more and more of these.And it's seeing that. But the weirdest part is always walking up to the casket. And it used to be for different reasons. I remember when I was younger I was just scared because I didn't want to see them and I wasn't sure what that was like. They weren't there. Now I'm not even scared anymore. I'm not scared. It just feels awkward because, not just with my friend and in this moment I was looking at him but anytime I've walked up to that casket and looked down I'm looking at them and I'm saying to myself...that's not you.

It looks like you physically, but there's an absence. And obviously, yeah they they're dead, but it's not just that it's literally in an extraction of the life. The thing that came through that person and it's almost like, it's weird it's,  what is left behind seems empty. When I'm looking at it seems empty. For me that's where the loss comes from, not the fact that they're not opening their eyes is that something is gone, completely gone, and it's that realization of like where did they go? and then there's this other part of me that that relies on the physical. The physical manifestation of who they were like what they looked like how how my friend smiled how he stood a particular way, the little the gestures that he makes and the gestures that you know what I'm talking about, someone that you care about, bet your thinking right now,  just someone that you know, even the ones that are alive, you just when you think of them if you really think about it in your brain it'll it'll start going through its files and your brain liked it and it just pulls up a picture usually pulls up a picture, sometimes a feeling, but sometimes a picture. But for me the physical part of who we are is really just a road sign to what we are before the body. Before we're manifest 

So this is getting really fuckin metaphysical. Let me just break this down to me and I'm a scientist. I'm just to do telling stories. But for me when I observe people it's kind of like the body and how it creates gestures is a product of its environment and a product of ingenuity in wanting to be something or to physically be something. The way a person walks the way a person smiles, the way a person....It seems like it's a mixture of all these things, it's like a mixture of mimicry from when you're a kid looking at the faces around you. It's a mixture of your own impulses experimenting and then it's a mixture of the environment that you came from 

How is your environment? If it's loving and inclusive and open you tend to see these bodies be much more open and loving and inclusive physically they're gesturing is that way. When you come from an environment that's harsh that's intense that's oppressive.

Your body will look that way. I'm not talking with the physical nature that just the standstill pigment of how people look. We're not talking about skin. We're not talking about even bones. I'm talking about, almost like being an artist, the way their body moves that's always been fascinating to me.

And where does that come from?

Where does it come from it's so weird. To me, the only thing there's a lot of different analogies but when I'm thinking about it it's kind of like being a painter and having a canvas and having paints and you know you want to make a splatter of paint with a particular color on the canvas, but you got to visualize it first. So, it has to not be the thing first, before it becomes the thing. So you have to visualize: I'm going to do this and that's to me almost like consciousness ...like the first part of the explosion of experimentation of consciousness.

 I gonna try this. Where does that come from? I don't know.. But I know that before the brush stroke or the splatters on the paint canvas becomes something, it's like you've got to think about it first, what it is came from something that is not physical it's metaphysical. It's something that's just in your consciousness. You think of it, and it might take its form and its shape, but it's expressing itself out of something that wasn't there. It's fucking insane! I'm like recording, this is insane! You have to understand as I'm talking to you but there's no one in front of me and I'm just going on and ruminating about all of this stuff...and it all comes back to these thoughts that come from standing in front of my friend when he's lying in his coffin and realizing that's not my friend anymore... Almost like this funeral... that something has to be destroyed before it's created.

 And and it's almost like this cycle: birth life death. Birth life death. Birth life death. Birth life death. The seasons.. The solar system round and round and round and round and round.. expanding and everything around us the physics, everything seems to cycle in and out. Galaxies collide. Galaxies are destroyed. Stars are born. Stars die. And it's why not with us?...why not with us?

CORI OUTRO

I hope you enjoyed the episode. A lot of people have been coming up to Aaron and I at parties sending emails and calling to tell us how much they loved the podcast and ask when the next episodes coming out. A great way to stay connected is to visit the Web site seven minute Stories pod.com  - You can also subscribe on Apple podcasts. And while you're there. Let more people know what you think about Aaron and his storytelling by rating and leaving a review.

Lastly the biggest compliment you can give us is to share your favorite episode with friends on social media. Thanks again for listening!

7ms Transcript: Episode 46 - Remember his face

7 Minute Stories by Aaron Calafato

Episode 46 - Remember his face

Intro- Cori Birce

You're listening to seven minute stories with Aaron Calafato. This episode: Remember his face.

Story – Aaron Calafato

I was downtown and I was getting something to eat at a noodle bar. And when I walked out there was, I think, it was a homeless person asking for money and he asked for money and food and said: I'm hungry or do you have any spare change for me to get a cup of coffee?

And I remember as a child seeing someone's face like that for the first time. And I if you look at a child as they react to someone in need, they're horrified by it. They're shaken by it and they should be. And to a certain degree I'm shaken by it too. But over time and over time when you live in an urban area or you see it more and more and more it still shakes me. But I can figure out a way to push through it. I can look at the horizon and I can hear their voice in my ear saying: Hey please can I have some to eat sir? Or please I'm hungry or something..

And I keep walking past. Or when I'm walking past I'll be talking with a friend and I just make sure and focus on that friend when I'm walking past someone asking me something.just so I don't have to look over at them and I don't think I want to look at them because I don't want to look at their face. And I sometimes don't want to see the absolute struggle or humiliation that they're facing, either by some fault of their own or no fault of their own just the circumstance. And I.. there are times where I do that. Or I ignore it. And for the most part though I try, so hard, to always just look at the person and if I have something to give I give and if I don't I don't.

But I think the important thing for me at least for my own self is to look at that person and give an answer and to not be afraid to look at a person. I think we get we're afraid to look at people. And so when this guy asked me for food or coffee afterwards. I looked at him I said hey, you know I don't have any money right now. He said: no problem Have a blessed. And I walk away and I remember I had this bottle of water with me and I turned around they said hey: I have this water and I don't know if that's cool, and he goes: Yeah I'm thirsty. 

He took it. He immediately cracks it open. He starts drinking. I mean really really drinking. He's really thirsty. And I'm looking at him and I and I realize and he's looking at me and he realizes something too. And were just sitting there, these two people the middle of this busy street in front of this noodle bar. And I realize I'm just one degree removed from his situation. I mean his situation is my situation any human being can experience need. We all experience need and hunger and desperation and being embarrassed or being any of those things. I mean to think that I am somehow so far removed that it's just something that other people deal with.

No. I mean having an eviction notice on my door, I know I was one step away from that. And I was one bad decision. One bad investment if I had any money. I'm one bad parent or one bad geographical location. Or one bad revolution. Or one bad influence. Or one bad person who hurt me or abused me or took advantage of me. One bad fiscal choice of my own or someone else.

I'm one step away from his situation and his situation is a universal situation. It is not something we are divorced from or I am divorced from. And so when I look at this person drinking this water and I know what it's like to be fucking thirsty, I can identify with that moment and I know I'm gonna a walk away to a better situation than he is going to walk to. And I'm not even walking. I'm walking to a parking garage and driving away and I'm not going to feel guilty for the rest of my life about that but I'm gonna feel in that moment that I at least should take a look at this person's face. I can see something familiar.

 And I can see me. And he can see him, in me. And he's having a bottle of water and we're having a conversation and he says to me: you know what it's like for someone to look through you? And I said you know I've been to a couple of dinner parties. I've been to a couple of cocktail parties and they just sort of look around or look through me because I'm not famous. I was joking and I said, but no, I I have not. I kind of know but I don't know what you're talking about specifically.

I've never had anybody just look through me. And he goes, Well, have you ever looked having a look at you like you're a piece of trash. He said I'm, I'm serious. There are people that look at me like am I am a piece of trash. In the gutter with that water and sewage flowing into the sewer and I'm just a part of that...and I said: I don't know what that is.

I don't know what that must feel like but I'm sorry. He goes: No, I'm sorry, I just can't imagine looking at another person that way. And he said especially experiencing this now. When I get out of this.

He said. I will never ever... and if I do.

He said I'll make every effort in my fuckin life to look at another human being in their face and acknowledge that they exist. In any form. Privileged or not. They just deserve to be looked at and acknowledged.. Even for a second. He said: I appreciate you talking with me and I appreciate this bottle of water. I said: this is nothing and it's no problem. And I said, you you'll get there. He goes: well maybe or maybe not. And we just sat there, kind of both looking out at the world and I remember his face. I remember his face....

Outro – Cori Birce

I hope you enjoyed the episode. A lot of people have been coming up to Aaron and I at parties sending emails and calling to tell us how much they loved the podcast and ask when the next episodes coming out. A great way to stay connected is to visit the Web site 7minutestoriespod.com . You can also subscribe on Apple podcasts. And while you're there. Let more people know what you think about Aaron and his storytelling by rating and leaving a review. Lastly, the biggest compliment you can give us is to share your favorite episode with friends on social media.

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